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I have a profound love for feelings, the inner realms and the shadows.

A long-term Somatic Meditator and Somatic Psychotherapist (Certified Hakomi Therapist), I run long immersions to help highly sensitive beings change their relationship to the feeling body. These immersions combine guided practices with the nuanced maps of Buddhism (taught somatically), to help people navigate with much more subtlety.

Learning to truly welcome and feel our experience in a non-judgemental way requires us to cultivate the body so that it become a soft, warm, kind and unconditionally receptive field. From here, the divinity of these intolerable and misperceived energies can be directly revealed.

Having spent the majority of my adult life immersed in meditation retreats, somatic psychotherapy and pretty much anything that would facilitate healing, I was surprised to discover in my early forties that it didn’t matter what I did, or how much I did it, some part of me, at the core, felt broken.

Even though I could see the change, feel the growth and the integration that had happened … the persistence of a core sense of unworthiness and wrongness was somehow stronger and more intolerable than ever.

I lost faith that healing was possible. I lost faith in meditation, Buddhism, psychotherapy and everything that had given my life meaning. 

I let go of doing what I thought I should do, and started to follow the nearly inaudible impulses of my own being. What was my truth? What was my conditioning? Could I tolerate stepping out of an incessant need for external validation and the safety of these lineages?

I explored psychedelic medicines, which brought to life dimensions of spiritual teachings that, previous to this, I’d understood only in theory.

I took a deep dive into sexuality, unravelling the collective shame and taboo invisibly suffocating my whole, embodied experience. I did countless workshops, retreats, studied Sexological Bodywork and Somatic Sex Education and ended up teaching Embodied Intimacy and a relational, sensual mediation that illuminated unconscious beliefs in the body in a way that would take years to see in therapy and meditation. Undoubtedly a fast track.

I stumbled across Somatic Tibetan Tantric Meditation, a completely different approach to the traditional meditation of the Buddhist forest traditions I’d been immersed in for 18 years. Even though I had made a vow to never follow another teacher or lineage, the practices and the teachings pointed to what I’d always been seeking: welcoming all that was denied and hidden.

It trained me to relax, to open, to notice unconscious tension and train my awareness to meet these sensations and vibrations in a completely different way. It showed me how all my training had taught me to literally pierce my awareness into my experience. For someone who had spent their lives drowning in the feeling realm, this singular shift in the habit of attention was profound.

As I learned to meet my feeling body with kindness, tenderness and without clarity, I could feel how they could start to breathe. In the quiet depths of darkness, where my whole being was steeped in peace, these sensations began to reveal themselves in a way that I was previously unable to see. It was a paradoxical journey: an unravelling on so many levels.

It’s not a surprise that the unconscious can’t be navigated with the same methods we use to explore the conscious mind. We are so used to piercing into experience, to knowing, to demanding even … that it never occurs to us that the shadow work very differently to the light.

I left the land of embodied sexuality and turned back towards psychotherapy. Back to private practice where I could guide those with sensitive and vibrant inner realms, who after years of therapy and healing felt condemned to a life of complex trauma and intensity.  

But this time when I sat in the therapy seat, I felt different. Not only did I trust that healing was possible, but I was no longer practicing someone else’s teachings. I could feel an interweaving in my body, that is particular to me. In many ways, I no longer relate to the title of being a psychotherapist, I no longer relate to my experience as a result of my trauma.

I am a highly sensitive being. Emotionally sensitive. I didn’t know that because on many levels, I am also strong, robust and capable. I assumed that highly sensitive people we’re delicate. I also thought that my feelings were so strong because of my upbringing, as most psychological and psychotherapeutic models believe.

However, I no longer see it like that. I no longer see my body as just me, or that my experience is just from this body and this life. My belief is that I came in with this level of sensitivity. That it’s part of my lineage, part of my particular consciousness. And that I had been relating to it as problematic, rather than a capacity to feel what others can’t necessarily feel.

Everything has been useful along the way, but learning to develop the capacity to rest into the body as a calm, warm, loving and receptive field allowed me to lower the noise of the intensity and begin to meet the feelings I had never wanted to feel. Here, rather than brokenness, my feeling body came alive in a very different way. I could see how the way I was relating to them previously, wasn’t allowing this to be revealed.

Our experience is sacred. We just don’t know how to meet it. My work is to support you deeper into you, so that you can meet you yourself with a deep, authentic, compassionate love.

My work isn’t work … it’s just my absolutely favourite place to be.