The Influences in My Work

Whilst I am a Certified Hakomi Therapist, my approach is primarily rooted in a feminine expression of Buddhism and Tantric Meditation. With 30 years of Buddhist meditation practice as a central aspect of my life, it was only after immersing myself in Tibetan Tantric somatic practices and teachings that I was finally able to access and navigate the intolerably painful beliefs of shame and unworthiness that 18 years of traditional meditation and psychotherapy had been unable to reach.

These practices so significantly altered my experience and understanding of being human that it’s impossible for me not to integrate them into my work as a psychotherapist and healer. 

Finally, I want to acknowledge my studies and practices in Somatic Sex Education, Western Tantra (as distinct from Tibetan Tantra), and my years of teaching Intimacy workshops and relational practices. Despite being shrouded in fear and taboo, these practices bestowed upon me the permission to use sound, vibration and touch (in practice and in life); the permission to navigate my experience through effortlessness, ease and “resting” into essence; and the permission to abide in the body for extended periods of time without tension.

Why are Feelings Important

Within the Buddhist view, Feelings are distinct from Emotions. Feelings (or Vedena) are the sensations and vibrations of energy that perpetually move within, through and around us. How we perceive these energies, at unconscious levels, activates nearly imperceptible movements that then become the emotions and stories in which we live. Deep grooves in the body and mind, that have a repetitive and addictive quality to them.

This is where space and relaxation become essential. By learning to shift the habit of our attention into the relaxation and goodness within our being, we literally create the space to welcome and receive these energies (that often feel threatening) in completely new ways.

So for me, the story and the themes are the gateways we follow down into our direct experience. By working at the level of feelings (Vedena), we gain access to the engine room of our suffering.

I guess you could say that I’m working with you in a way that is more about the human condition, rather than trying to find the cause of your suffering in your trauma or childhood. Together we’re track how you’ve navigated your inner world to stay away from pain and how that continues to unconsciously repeat in your adult life.

What to Expect

Our work together is very much a balance between me following and leading you. This is where the story is important. I’m listening and watching for the patterns of your unconscious – I’m looking for all the feelings you unquestioningly judge and absolutely do not want to feel.

As I guide you on how to turn you towards and welcome all that feels unwelcome, you get a direct experience of being with an aspect of your experience that you have always moved away from. This experience is profoundly illuminating.

Between sessions I also give you guided practices to help you navigate this inner terrain. These practices are soothing by nature, keep the inquiry alive between sessions and slowly trains your body to meet your experience in very different ways.

Is this Approach for You?

Due to the somatic nature of this approach, it usually resonates well with people who are highly sensitive in their feeling body, or have spent a significant period of their lives immersed in psychotherapy, meditation or deep spiritual practice.

I have also found that those who have spent a substantial amount of time unpacking their individual story through psychotherapy or spiritual practice are also more willing to loosen the focus on their individual trauma and childhood and expand a bit more to include inherited patterns (epigenetics), cultural conditioning (how we’re all trained to dislike and move away from feelings) and how we’re all caught in pain of our ego structure (the human condition).

As this approach is one where I am supporting you to meet what is arising as a felt-sense experience within the present moment, somatic daily practice is an essential part of our work together. Whilst it builds towards establishing effortless, embodied mindfulness, the practices I would be giving you are focused on learning to relax deeply in the body and meet the “feeling” realm within a loving, kind and profoundly receptive “body”.

These practices are guided, done to music and are done in bed with headphones on! For most of my clients, these practices are something they want to do daily.